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By Michael Iverson of Affordable Legal Assistance posted in Child Custody on Friday, May 2, 2014.
In order to gain court approval of the marital settlement agreement (sometimes called the stipulated judgment), you must agree on every issue including child custody, support, community assets, liabilities, etc. Even when couples go into the process with the intent to establish temporary orders, they're often thinking "I'm going to have to battle to get what I ultimately want". We encourage our clients to immediately file Request for Order paperwork to set a hearing date for the purpose of obtaining temporary orders. However, once that hearing is set on the Court Calendar, we always advise our clients to make a good faith effort to attempt to find common ground with their ex on some or all of the issues particular to their case. Obtaining orders by way of a stipulated agreement whenever possible is typically best for all parties involved in a family law matter. We work to facilitate common ground with the opposing parties and can almost always provide several ideas and options that have helped to resolve similar challenges in the past. The key to reaching a good settlement is to work through the emotion so that you can make decisions based on logical conclusions and what will be best for you and/or your children in the long run. Emotions in a legal setting almost always lead to bad decisions. That's why I would never represent myself in a divorce - even after 20 years of experience in divorce and family law. You simply do not think clearly when emotions are in play. As an attorney I try to help my clients work through or set aside their emotions so that they can make decisions logically with the long term best interests in mind.